Forget 6ft. The new dating green flag is “I’m in therapy”

For years, the shorthand for a catch on a dating profile was height. Now it might be a therapist. In a Hily survey of 2,500 Gen Z and millennial Americans (May 2025), 55% of women said they would refuse to date someone who doesn’t believe in therapy. So is therapy a green flag in dating? For women, the data increasingly says yes. For men, it’s less clear.

It’s Movember, the annual campaign in which men grow moustaches through November to raise money and awareness for men’s health, mental health included. So we looked at what the surveys say about therapy on dating profiles: who finds it attractive, who is put off, and how to mention it without oversharing.

A caveat: most figures here come from dating apps and wellness companies, not academic studies. Read them as signals, not settled facts.

Is therapy a green flag in dating? What the surveys say

• It’s attractive, especially to women. Hily found that 45% of Gen Z women and 55% of millennial women see people in therapy as more romantically appealing. Among men, it was 32% and 43%.
• It’s seen as relationship-ready. 53% of women and nearly 40% of men in the same survey said it’s easier to build a healthy relationship with someone who has been in therapy.
• For some, it’s a filter. 23% of young women and 16% of men said they’re unlikely to date someone who has never been.
• The UK is on the same page. In a Match survey published in January 2025, 74% of British singles said open, honest conversations about mental health are positive, and 68% said that a few years ago they would never have raised it on a first date.

Why men are slower to see it that way

Men are less convinced that therapy is a green flag, and they are also less likely to be in therapy themselves. In the US, 10.9% of men received counselling or therapy from a mental health professional in 2024, compared with 16.9% of women (CDC, June 2026). In the UK, a poll of 2,000 men by the health-testing company Medichecks (June 2026) found that 73% blame old stereotypes about staying stoic and suffering in silence for men not asking for help.

Movember’s own research suggests the problem isn’t that men don’t want to talk. In a survey of 3,000 men in the UK, Australia and Canada, 77% said talking is a good way to solve problems, but 41% regretted opening up to someone. When men do share, it often doesn’t land.

The stakes are real. Gallup found that 25% of US men aged 15 to 34 felt lonely for a lot of the previous day, against a median of 15% for young men across OECD countries. For more on how the two sides experience apps differently, see Men vs women on dating apps.

The catch: therapy-speak isn’t therapy

Not everyone sees therapy as a green flag. 27% of young women and 20% of men in the Hily survey said they had felt judged by a date for being in therapy. And some daters have the opposite worry: profiles full of words like “boundaries” and “attachment style” that say a lot and prove little. If you’re unsure what a term means, our glossary of modern dating terms can help.

Therapy as a green flag: how to mention it on your profile

• You don’t have to. It’s your story to share when you’re ready.
• Keep it short and plain. “I go to therapy and it helps” reads as calm. A paragraph of jargon reads as a warning.
• Show it, don’t announce it. Being able to talk about something hard without getting defensive is more convincing than any line in a bio.
• Don’t therapise your date. Diagnosing someone’s “patterns” on date two is how the green flag turns red.

If you see it on someone else’s

• Don’t read too much into it either way. It isn’t a guarantee of maturity, or a sign of problems.
• Ask what therapy has given them. The answer tells you a lot.
• Be wary if therapy language replaces actions, or is used as a weapon (“my therapist says you’re toxic”).

Meeting someone soon? Read our first date safety checklist.

FAQ

Is therapy a green flag in dating?

For most young women, yes: in a 2025 Hily survey, 45% of Gen Z and 55% of millennial women found people in therapy more appealing. Men are more divided.

Should I put therapy on my dating profile?

Only if you want to. If you do, keep it brief and avoid jargon.

Do men and women see it differently?

Yes. In US surveys, women are consistently more likely than men to see therapy as a green flag, and men are less likely to be in therapy themselves.

Sources

• VICE: Hily survey on therapy and dating, US (19 May 2025)
• Global Dating Insights: Hily study (26 May 2025)
• BirminghamWorld: Match UK survey (January 2025)
• CDC/NCHS: Mental health treatment among adults, United States, 2024 (June 2026)
• The Star: Medichecks survey of UK men (June 2026)
• Movember: 5 years of conversations (10 September 2025)
• Gallup: younger men among the loneliest in the West (May 2025)

Cover photo: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash